


Episode: Pusher

by dksfwm



Series: Untitled Drabbles and One-Shots [1]
Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12944889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dksfwm/pseuds/dksfwm
Summary: What if Mulder had actually shot Scully in “Pusher”?





	Episode: Pusher

“Scully…” he says through gritted teeth. He feels his finger about to slip. His mind is screaming shoot her, but it’s not his voice. He’s holding back so forcefully that the pressure that’s built up in his head makes him feel like it could explode at any moment. And then it does.

She doesn’t understand that he’s trying to tell her to run. She doesn’t see the pleading desperation in his eyes telling her to take cover. She’s still standing there because she trusts him, because she doesn’t believe that he would give in. She was wrong.

He thought there was unspoken communication between the two of them. Apparently when his mind and his actions are being manipulated, his ability to effectively get through to Scully ceases, too.

She’s on the ground before he’s fully conscious of what he’s done, before he’s actually registered the sound of the shot. There’s blood, so much blood, pooling at her left side. The second she starts gasping, trying to bring oxygen back into her lungs, it’s as if he snaps out of whatever trance Modell had him in. The gun haphazardly falls out of his hand and onto the ground somewhere under the table, and he flings himself at Scully, who’s becoming listless on the floor.

He can’t stop touching her. His fingers are gentle every place he makes contact, but he doesn’t know what he should be doing. He finally covers his palm over her heart and applies pressure. He’s screaming down the hall, trying to get help, and hot tears are flowing from his eyes. His hands feel warm and sticky, stained red. _How can a person this small have this much blood_ , he thinks. _Why isn’t it stopping?_ So much blood.

He feels her heart beating beneath his hands, but it’s slowing. Her eyes have slipped closed and her breaths are short. He doesn’t know what to do. _Help me, Scully, you’re the doctor_. He suddenly feels hands at his shoulders, pulling him away from her “No. Nonononono!” His head is racing. His hands are off of her for a second, and he thinks it’s just enough time for her to slip away. Another set of hands grab his and pull him away again.

“Agent Mulder.” It’s the SWAT lieutenant, he deciphers. His ears start ringing and he doesn’t know what sounds are real. The lieutenant’s lips are moving, and he thinks he can make out “attempt” and “stabilize” and “if you want her to survive”. He feels paralyzed. His chest is heaving so hard that he feels like he’s going to suffocate.

_This isn’t real. This can’t be real. I wouldn’t shoot Scully. Oh my god, I shot Scully. I shot my partner. I shot my best friend_. He almost doubles over, he thinks he’s going to throw up.

He turns back to the table, ready to rip Modell’s throat out, but Modell’s not there. His eyes scan the room, Modell’s not anywhere at all.

He whips around back toward the door and is winded at the sight of smeared blood, her blood, on the tiles of the hospital floor. Scully’s not there anymore, either.

He runs out into the hall, where paramedics have Scully on a stretcher. As they turn the corner, Mulder thinks he sees one of them grab a sheet and prepare to throw it over her.  
  
He blacks out, after emptying his stomach and collapsing against the wall and the floor, before he knows for sure.


End file.
